Invite your family but not the ex. He wanted out. My father always has said he didnt like my ex. Sorry by siblings I meant sisters. I worry about her each and every day. He is entitled to be close to the grandparents, aunts, and uncles of his children. Unreal. I would have been more than accommodating to them having a relationship but they enabled him to behave abusively towards me because he was sweetness and light to their faces whilst being a monster behind their backs. His personality seems to be more like Aspergers. However, if your husband's ex is more involved in his life than you think is healthy or reasonable, you shouldn't just let it go and seethe quietly. We are supposed to be modeled after the creator so why the hell cant people behave the same way?This is why I dont hang around people that let their emotions rule thinking. I know it bothers my husband a lot, but he doesnt really like to talk about it. Its where Im at now. Thats why you should be careful when marrying. We have now been divorced for 10 years and I am remarried and my ex has made a point to visit and contact my parents. You deserve to have your family and he needs to rely on his. Even the man in question was a saint, cant you respect your family name and cut off the relationship at most to a reasonable distance. weddings, parties, family functions. I get pictures of my neice and him and my sister saying how nice it is for her daughter to have a older male to look upto .. my friends think this is weird as with other family members but Im in the wrong about how I feel . He is a narcissist and after therapy I found thats what they do! Nonetheless, the perpetrator was esteemed highly, supported and loved whilst his daughter was going through pain, hurt and confusion. I am lucky because my grownup children love me a lot and we are very close. Well, long story short, my family knew about the abusive. How do I know when hes ready for a new relationship? Hes texting or contacting her behind your back. Yep! But why do you want to hang out with your exs family? Im with you and think your family needs to rethink their loyalty. They didnt believe me even though I never told one lie whereas he just behaved like the complete victim and told lie after lie. Wishing you well. I stay away from them Now he doesnt accompany you anymore. Yeah, then theres really something going on. It sounds like your family knows my family!!! And where did you learn to be treated like that, where did you learn you didnt have any needs From your family? My ex-wife was kinda like the way u explained yourself. They dont replace the family I used to havebut tbh, as I look back, my sister and Mother who have chosen to support and sustain my ex, must not have been healthy to begin with. Lowest of the low. They cant read your mind and probably dont know how betrayed you feel, This has happened to me only my ex husband works with my neice of who now sees her as his second daughter . There was nothing wrong with that He was their family too. Invitr them. I raised 3 kids attended events, school meetings etc . Thats really not very Christian at all is it? I have never interfered with their marriage and have no intention to get involved now. This is all a story of my reality. Him being able to utilize your family members to deny you having the kind of relationship you should be having with your children and family is really rock bottom. When i got divorced my ex got onto FB(which he had never shown any interest in) and friended my brothers sisters bils sils neices nephews anyone that he could so they could gather round him and support him. It was very hard to no that all my family turned against me and that he plays a big part in their life. As for your family, its his family as well. Your are one of the last people left that lets there kids live there life and be happy. I suspect her issue is jealousy, since her mother intentionally got pregnant with her so my dad would stop running to my mothers aid every time I was sick, etcetera. Does divorce warrant total detachment from ex family???? "acceptedAnswer": { I just found out one of my sisters plans a monthly family movie night with my kids but she does it when they are at his house not when they are with me. It was also HIS family for 13 years, and nothing has been said about him being in any way an unpleasant person. I hope they are all happy. I realised then he was probably a sociopath. Their actions are just too toxic and I dont want that in my life. c o m,,, have helped someone and i decided to give him a try to help me bring my lover back home and believe me i just send my picture to him and that of my husband and after 48hours as he have told me, i saw a car drove into the house and behold it was my husband and he have come to me and the kids and that is why i am happy to make every one of you in similar to met with this man and have your lover back to your self.______________WOW!!!!!!!!!!!. If they continue a over the top relationship its because they are being selfish.. they dont want to go through a break up too. He had destroyed thousands of dollars worth of things in the house. Or both get new great partners- soon! Im not having it. I dont get to see my little niece or nephew grow. It gets tricky and can put everyone in a difficult situation. I have to largely suffer in silence because if I dare complain She does not care. What Went Wrong? Speaker at universities, conferences and debates, like the University of Amsterdam, University of Utrecht and University of Nijmegen. Id be pretty unhappy if I were in your shoes. I wanted a new partner and wanted my daughter to just follow along. Hi there, i completely understand your hurt and feelings of betrayal as its been happening to me for the past 14 years, since I divorced my ex for adultery. Another who has a very similar story. I had a similar issue recently where my husbands family came into town, went to his sisters sons graduation and didnt tell him what day they were coming he couldnt understand why everyone was so quiet about the details. I wouldnt have dreamed of honing in on my exes family. Let him know that logically you know there's nothing going on, but emotionally you can't help but feel a bit jealous. I know they say family will hurt you more than your own enemies but this is truly killing me. They are toxic and unhealthy in my situation. They all hang out together. My siblings have decided they will not unfriend my ex family on face book and it is up to me if I want to so divorce my siblings because of their decision to maintain a one sided face book friend ship with my ex family. Him bringing the Kids to their family your Sister and that is good for your children. guess what The ex needs to get his own life and stop casting a shadow on yours. Tell them this hardly to be considered petty, your marriage was not petty. It really sucks when your point of view is family first and they choose your ex over you its absolutely not okay and Im sorry you have to deal with this. I hope youre ok You are very strong and please stay strong for your kids . I have always been there for this sister, financially, emotionally and every way possible. My family abandoned me at the time I needed them the most. This family sounds toxic though, knowing youve been pushed out of the circle and that it hurts you, and yet still carry on with what they are doing.its like they are saying he is more of a necessity in their lives or more important than you. Prayers for you. Ultimately, through their friendship, they realized for themselves what type of person he was and left him alone. Your sister needs to respect you, simple as that. I still dont feel the same about them how could you go along and not even talk to me. He never missed a chance to remind me how Ive got no one. he said he loved her but does this mean he still does? Why is it all right for him to be in my family with his girlfriends and it is not OK for me to be with the one I love? Suzie the author in this situation has explained she is uncomfortable. This is on her. At the beginning of the relationship, this caused a lot of hassle. When I separated from my husband I lost his family, who Id always adored and mine too. I no longer speak to my former in laws. Who wants to ride that emotional rollercoaster with people??? You may think you had a close family but read about narcissism you may be able to look back and realise it was only close because you complied. Its hard enough to lose someone in divorce without having do deal with the loss of half the people in your family as well! Its like he treats you as if you were his girlfriend, but you can tell that hes not one hundred percent present in the situation. I think I need to see a psychologist. Sorry they think this is okay. Abuse doesnt have to be physical, it can be verbal, emotional or psychological. I have NEVER commented to any post, but I cannot imagine. So Im done. He says that I am "nuts" and just need to get over it. Sadly, this helps. christmas, divorce, his ex, insecure. I hate them so much for doing this to me now I. Your mother sounds awful. And that hes actuallyhaving some kind of backup, so he can get back with his ex. It depresses me severely now that my children also participate in this process though we have great relations outside of this issueunless I bring it up. I now have nothing to do with the rest of my family because of the betrayal. With all due respect and empathy- I really do think that you have some emotional wounds to heal and its causing you to experience this in a way that isnt comfortable. Meanwhile he tries to rewrite history with my adult kids. com) that he can help me silence my uncle so i can have my peace in the house , without wasting any time i contacted dr peter and He helped me silence my uncle with his powerful death spell magic that he cast on my wicked uncle . Lets suppose you just entered into a relationship with a guy who seems to be doing all the right things, such as: Its as if he routinely does all the right things. . Yesvery unreasonable. And now I find out that my mother is leaving the house to my ex. But if youre a year down the line and he still hasnt introduced you to his friends and family? My sister and I never got along or were close. So I started talking to him about it and he said he doesnt want me to talk about her anymore. I feel like Im going crazy. They'll help reassure you, and perhaps the two of you can brainstorm a solution. He even seen the new baby in the family, and rubbed it in my face that I would never see that child. I broke off all contact with them. Over years of unity, you cant just turn it off like a light bulb. The biggest indicating factor for the acknowledgement of the gray area from family is whether they actually ASK you first how you feel, OR how things are going with the divorce. Thats wrong. After receiving an open invite to all Thanksgivings and Christmas they uninvited me and my new family to Christmas Eve Dinner because my ex will be there. Really? Like 7 years before I knew either of them. Divorce means its over! My ex said he was leaving me. I am starting to think that my daughter got brainwashed in college and has a High-Conflict Personality Disorder. And when he was not in jail they would insist he be over for holiday dinners and occassions where our family would get together. All she wanted to know is if I wrote a mean reply back. I am so sorry for your loss. There are two types of instances that would be aggravating factors. He hurt me!!! Mary asks me to communicate with the Dr. IYAYA. I think your ex deliberately tried to phase you out and that sucks. We were very close. Or have you never had a job? They honestly thought i was crazy and my ex the victim because i had left him. But it wasnt the same. My ex cheated and left us. The first half hour of any social interaction is her re-hashing bad blood, ancient slights, etc. My dad took her side and laid into me about it (right when it happened, before I said anything to him). I think your feelings and your reactions to all of this Is normal. Then tell everyone around them you better pick me, because we are family because I was the victim. I found this while looking to understand why my family still invites my ex SIL to holiday celebrations when my brother wants nothing to do with her. what should I do? You feel that way around him because of your past. I met someone who wanted to marry me, my family rejected him. I hope you meet your new source of supply, and still remain stuck in that grass is greener mentality. I think its bullshit that someone has to cut ties with everyone just because the dumper wants to be free. Them this hardly to be treated like that, where did you learn be. Honestly thought i was the victim because i was the victim because i had left him and no... Meanwhile he tries to rewrite history with my adult kids ex-wife was kinda like the University of Nijmegen meet new! Lie whereas he just behaved like the way u explained yourself really like talk! 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